32. Smiling, He Wrote… (Intro)

    Last night I had a very bizarre dream and, as campy as the idea of the dream may seem, it was one of the happiest experiences I’ve had in years. It was minutes to show time and the lead skater wasn’t there. Even though I had no experience, they asked me to perform in his place. There was loud music; many colorful characters skated around me on the ice. I tried to mimic the idea I had in my mind of a skater’s behavior when he’s on the ice.
    I skated for a few seconds. It was difficult to keep on my feet. I stopped and stood for a moment. I felt the music changing within me and slowly raised my left arm. Then I skated back to the area of the ice in which I had started. I decided to attempt one of the flips I’d seen some of the other skaters perform. I flew into the air and started turning all in the same motion. When I was done with the first rotation I went for a second. I actually felt my body turn at this accelerated speed. The ground, ceiling, and walls moved all around me.
    I landed the flip; so I then attempted a second double front flip. I landed that one. Then the dance of light and sound around me was over. A few of the performers and I went into a back room and a man who seemed to be in charge told me he thought I was amazing. I was still full of adrenaline and felt the huge winded smile on my face. Then this man criticized a performer who stood between us holding a guitar. The guitarist said something about it not being that bad. The person in charge gestured to me as if to say, “This guy had no practice and did better than you did.” I said something to try to deter the lead man’s critiquing, but it held little water with him. In those moments I felt what it was like on the other side, the opposite of how I frequently felt when I was growing up. I was the celebrated one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *