I think I might have overreacted a little last night. It would appear the explosions were not signs of the end of human civilization. Dad is doing laundry now as if there were nothing wrong. I apologize to any K9 friends who might have fled their homes in search of our unit. The unit was never formed as I have yet to master the function of opening doors. Please return to your homes.

– General James Avery Bubba Johnson

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