Alone in my Bed

As a YMCA counselor, I awoke in a small room at a YMCA location. This room had been host to my group of kids when I fell asleep. Where were they now? With a hurried pace, I left the room, entering the pool area. There was one swimming pool directly in front of me and another in the distance. I saw one child who was about the age of the kids in my group, but no others. I spotted a woman in a black YMCA swimsuit. She was standing, chest-deep in the pool in front of me. I asked her where my kids were and she pointed to the adjacent pool saying, “A few are over there. The rest are around here”, then gesturing to the water around her. I suddenly recognized my kids swimming around her. With a sense of relief, I walked toward the end of the pool. Another YMCA employee had just arrived. He often wore a large grin. I greeted him with a smile and friendly words. I awoke again with a sense of failure. I thought, “You are supposed to be watching your kids. What are you going to do when you are fired?” I then realized I was not at the YMCA. The irresponsibility of the YMCA setting had been a dream. I was laying under a white sheet. I felt the body of my ex-girlfriend pressed against my back, her arm draped over me as she held me close. I was surprised in this as she had, the night before, not seemed to desire any kind of interaction with me. I felt the desire to turn toward her. I awoke again. This time a blue sheet covered my face. I continued the motion of my turn, but increased the speed at which I turned as my motivation switched from love to defense. With the turn, I pushed away from her as I felt my heart thumping in my throat… Alone in my bed.

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