I recently had a Chinese friend die when his car caught fire at a stop light. He just kept getting out of the car, running around to the other side, and getting back in.

I will buy these two items and wear them to areas with large crowds.

Q: Why should you never let an alpaca kiss you?
A: Because of the alpaca lips.

A dolphin trainer at Sea World got in trouble this week for injuring a dolphin. The trainer says he slipped and fell into the tank, injuring the dolphin when he landed on him. Authorities say he jumped in on porpoise.

Having a stroke is a serious thing. I know a guy who had a stroke and it has affected his life in very significant ways. It has caused emotional and cognitive issues. He can’t use his left hand because it is always closed in a tight fist. But boy do I love playing Rock-Paper-Scissors with him- “Rock again?! Paper covers Rock…”

I want to adopt a Vietnamese kid and name him Charlie. I’ll take him to the VA and play hide and seek in the parking lot. I’ll then ask veterans if they’ve seen Charlie.

Nike brand’s suicide hotline effort was ended last Tuesday as a result of what corporate spokesperson Kathy McCormic says was poor planning. The company, known for their sports gear didn’t foresee the problems branding efforts might pose until the hotline was functioning. “Our intentions were good”, says McCormic, “but our delivery was poor.” It may be difficult to see how such a noble effort from such a well known company could have gone wrong so quickly, just one week after the project began, but a review of calls taken at the hotline may explain the problem: “Thank you for calling Nike suicide hotline. Nike reminds you to just do it…”